“His room shares a wall with mine, which is how I heard him in the middle of the night with his ramblings.” Jessica and 7ollion were searching the room on the third-floor hotel where the man of toast was staying. It was a medium-sized room; larger than most bedrooms in an average house but not an extravagant luxury hotel. The room was mostly dominated by a king-sized bed, although there was a desk and small sitting area on the far end of the room, and an door opening to a bathroom. There were no windows; evidently this room was on the interior of the building. The walls were green and the floor was a dark hardwood, but there was a red rug at the sitting area decorated with geometric patterns.
“We should
start with the most obvious places to search, then work our way
down,” said 7ollion. “Do you remember exactly what he was
rambling about?” 7ollion was searching the desk, through various
drawers with papers, scraps of partially-eaten food. There were
drawings, mostly of toast, others of buildings, machines, and strange
creatures. Some abstract patterns that didn't quite line up with
themselves, and in a few cases, pages and pages of numbers, possibly
math, that didn't seem to have any logic to it whatsoever.
“Dunno,”
said Jessica. “I was half-conscious and it was muffled. Something
about wanting to show them all and his ministry of toast, and then he
laughed in a stereotypically evil manner. He really wanted to be
president and I think when he didn't get elected something snapped in
his little toasted brain.” She looked in a closet by the door.
Dozens of identical outfits lined it, the same thing Toaster-Man wore
every day. The black t-shirt with TM emblazoned on the front, red
cape, and blue jeans. There didn't seem to be any clues here, other
than the fact that Toaster-Man was apparently not very creative when
it came to fashion.
For the
record, everyone else was naked. No just kidding, I thought that
would be funny if I just didn't describe clothes at all and then just
blazély mentioned sometime that that's because they weren't wearing
any, but then I decided not. The Danadian spirits had been immersed
in western internet culture for years; they would know the purpose of
clothes and the western societal implications of not wearing any.
Everyone had on an outfit that matched their personality and a closet
with different clothes in their hotel room with several different
outfits as well. Look, I would describe them but I really don't feel
like it right now. Maybe some other time, okay?
“Do you
think maybe he's plotting some sort of military coup?” asked
7ollion from the bathroom. He didn't find anything interesting there;
just typical bathroom things and piles of Toaster-Man uniforms strewn
about. It was a decent bathroom, cosy but not too small, and seemed
more homely than hotel-ly.
“Well now I
do,” said Jessica. “Thanks for worrying me. And I think I found
out how.” she had opened a drawer on the bedside table and found
the blueprint notebook labeled Ministry of Toast. In smaller writing,
the cover said Top Secret Plans, DO NOT READ.
And then in even smaller writing and in brackets it said (Especially
you, Pudding the Psychic Air-Breathing Fish).
Inside were pages and pages of diagrams detailing complex machinery,
the function of which Jessica could not fathom in the slightest.
7ollion
came over and looked. “I have no idea what those machines would
do,” he said. “Do you?”
“I
can't fathom in the slightest,” said Jessica. “But look! On the
inside cover! Floors 30-40.” Sure enough, that number was written,
several others were also written, then scratched out, but 30-40 was
circled several times. “Wait, does he mean thirty to forty or three
to four dozen?”
“Can't
be thirty,” said 7ollion. “Floor thirty-four is the farming floor. Besides,
numbers in Danada tend to gravitate towards dozens. May as well get
used to it.”
“Yeah,
I've found it's easier to give in to Dan's insanity
rather than fight it,” said Toaster-Man. He was standing in the
doorway. 7ollion and Jessica turned around suddenly, startled at his
voice. “Hey, what are you guys doing with my top secret plans?”
The two
interlopers stammered.
“Oh, well,
I suppose the secret's out now,” said Toaster-Man. “I may as well
show you. Follow me!” So Jessica and 7ollion wordlessly followed
Toaster-Man out the door and down the hall to the elevator.
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