Saturday, August 24, 2013

Chapter 16: Ministry of Toast


“Welcome,” said Toaster-Man as the elevator door dinged and opened to the three-dozenth floor. “To the Ministry of Toast.”

The room they were in, which took up the entirety of the floor, was an immense factory. Gears grinded and machines whirled, conveyer belts turned and various other sorts of tubes were strewn about in seemingly-arbitrary ways.

“You see, each floor,” said Toaster-Man. “Has its own function. This one is mainly power generation. It comes from the solar collectors by the windows.” there were indeed arrays of solar panels blocking each window in the floor. Actually, from now on in this chapter, just assume that the things Toaster-Man describes exist.

“Wait so, what's all this power for?” asked 7ollion.

“You'll see,” said Toaster-Man. “Up to floor three-dozen one!” They walked across the factory floor to the stairs, and up them to the next floor.

“This floor is mainly a wheat farm. As you can see on the outside perimeter of the room is all plots of dirt, wheat is growing in there. I made automatic harvesting machines and automatic mills to grind it into flower as well, going in towards the centre of the room there.”

“Why didn't you just use part of the last floor?” asked Jessica.

“Well the windows were all taken up by the solar panels! Wheat needs sunlight to grow, obviously,” Toaster-Man said.

“Floor three-dozen two is the ovens, where the bread is baked, the other ingredients are pumped in from higher up, and-”

“Wait hang on,” said 7ollion. “Are you using the entirety of these thirteen floors to make a toast factory??”

“Well yeah,” said Toaster-Man. “It's the ministry of Toast! Now the next floor slices and packages the bread...”

“And you couldn't find any way of doing that... a bit more efficiently?” asked Jessica.

“Nope,” said Toaster-Man. “I spent all day with my plans, thirteen stories was the absolute minimum. Now, floor three'zen four is the nanoreplicator production and control room, as you can see.” The floor was mostly open, and metallic, filled with computers, wires, moniters, and flirting about the room were dozens of insectoid robots.

“I think nanobots are usually smaller than that,” said 7ollion.

“No those are the control bots, they control the actual nanobots,” said Toaster-Man. “Like queen bees or whatever.”

“And nanobots were absolutely necessary,” said Jessica.

“Yes, you can't build a Ministry of Toast without them,” said Toaster-Man.

They continued the tour, went through floors where the function was collecting and cultivating yeast, growing and refining sugar canes, one for molecularly assembling salt crystals (apparently that was the main function of the nanobots, although they had others), and the room that controled the water systems. “And finally, floor four dozen is the genetic labs, where we will conduct genetic experiments to genetically enhance the toast, and such.” Throughout the entire time, Toaster-Man had been talking rapid-fire, his comrades barely able to get a word in edgewise. “So, what do you think? Awesome, eh?”

“Yeah,” said 7ollion, genuinely impressed.

“You realize you broke literally the only law we have, right?” said Jessica. “To not define undefined stories without a vote? Thirteen floors are gone just like that now!”

“Yeah,” said Toaster-Man. “But, toast!”

“I kind of think we should tell everyone,” said Jessica.

“So this factory is completely self-sufficient and will theoretically be able to make toast without limit?” asked 7ollion.

“Yeah, pretty much,” said Toaster-Man. “But there's a few little hitches I wanna work out first. I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell everyone until they're ready.”
“I can't believe you're taking his side!” said Jessica. “He used up a good chunk of the tower!”

“I'm not saying it was right,” said 7ollion. “But you gotta admit it is pretty cool.”

“Okay, granted, the nanobot queens are pretty cute.” One flew up by her and poked her with an antenna-like appendage. “Ow... wait are they sentient?”

“How should I know,” said Toaster-Man. “Anyway this concludes the tour. I have many things to do and fix. Feel free to explore some more.”

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