“Welcome,” said Nathan
“To-”
“Okay I'm going to stop
you right there,” I said. “I'm not going to do this anymore. This
gag is going to wear thin very fast. Let's get on with the actual
story, okay? You're in a bank, and go!”
They were indeed in The
Bank of Benny, which in any story that followed any kind of narrative
logic to it would be the title of this chapter still, and not Socks
in the Rain. There was a sign when entering the floor from the
elevator, which read “Welcome to the Bank of Benny: take a Benny,
leave a Benny.” The room they were in was circular, but clearly did
not take up the entire floor. There were doors all around, and a
large front desk in front of the elevator, velvet ropes marking a
queue to it. The room was stone with marble collumns, and very well
lit with chandlers and other such light fixtures.
“Wait,” said Jeffery.
“Are we sure we want one citizen controlling the bank? Seems like a
terrible idea.”
“He doesn't control it,
he just created it,” said Kristina.
“Also that sign makes no
sense,” said Allison. “Take a Benny, leave a Benny?”
“Oh, a Benny is a coin;
it's worth one bite,” said Benny. “That's just what I call it,
anyway.”
Everyone looked at Benny
expectantly.
“Twelve
bites in a slice, twelve slices in a pizza. I figured to go along
with the twelve theme, may as well. The pizza is the main unit of
currency: it's worth exactly what it sounds like. One pizza costs one
pizza. Simple. You can value everything else from there.”
“Certainly makes our debt
easier to be repaid,” said Michael. “Instead of Toaster-Man
giving us a pizza, he can just give us one pizza.”
“Oh, speaking of which,”
said Benny. “I'm going to give everyone 5 dozen dozen pizza. You
know, hundred, but in base twelve. Whatever you call it.”
“Gross,” said 7ollion.
“No it's quite tasty,”
said Benny. “Well, I mean, the actual pizza. The coins and bills
that represent them not so much.”
“No I mean, a dozen dozen
is a gross. Or a biqua.”
“Wait, can he do that?”
asked Jeffery.
“Just make up words for
numbers?” asked Zandria. “I don't see why not.”
“No, I mean Benny just
giving everyone money.”
“All those in favour of
free money?” Nathan said.
The bill didn't pass. No of
course it passed.
“I didn't make it up,”
said 7ollion. “twelve dozen is traditionally a gross, and the
Dozenal Society of America has created a systemic dozen nomenclature
for the higher powers of twelve. 100 is a biqua, 1000 is a triqua,
10000 quadqua, et cetera. The negative powers are the same, but with
cia instead of qua.”
Everyone looked at 7ollion
very strangely.
“I suppose Dan instilled
in my soul his love of eccentric recreational mathematics,” 7ollion
said.
“Ah, that makes sense,”
everyone said collectively, but with variations on that theme.
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