Chapter 12: Magic Labs

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"Avada Kedavra!" shouted Kyle, waving a wand wildly in the air. He, along with Kristina, Richard, and Pudding the Psychic Air-Breathing fish were in a small, windowless, white-walled room on the sixth floor. Various magical equipment and arcane foci and impliments were strewn about the room, on shelves and on a counter in the centre of the room, along with test tubes, flasks, and various other chemical containers. There was also a bookshelf with various eldritch-looking tomes of arcane knowledge. On a stool at the counter sat Richard, who was fervently scribbling observations in a large notebook, Pudding hovering over his shoulder.

"Watch where you're pointing that thing!" said Kristina. "That was a death spell!" Kristina was tall and stood rather proudly in this context. Her long reddish-brown hair flowed smoothly as she ducked out of the way of the anticipated killing curse, and her wildly contrasting teal eyes glared at Kyle. She moved gracefully to the side and stood, one hand on a hip and the other exasperatedly massaging her forehead. 

"I'm sorry," said Kyle. "That's the only one I remembered. Anyway it didn't work, so it doesn't matter." Kyle was blonde with long hair, his brown eyes wide with frustration. He carried himself in a way that showed he was completely uncomfortable with himself, and he was getting weary from these experiments, tho they had not yet been at it for long.

"Try something simpler," said Richard. "And try aiming the spell at an actual target this time, maybe one not quite so alive." Richard was extremely eager and excited right now, which was unusual for him until now, but he seemed to have found his calling. He was the tallest in the room, although you would not know it due to how far he was hunched over on his stool. His hair was short and nearly black, his eyes matching, but again, you couldn't see it because his face was currently buried in his notebook. His voice was deep and authoritative, but he didn't seem to realize how assertive he was being. He just wanted the science to continue.

"Winguardium leviosa maybe?" suggested Kristina.

So Kyle aimed said levitation spell at an empty beaker. Nothing happened.

<Alright, I think it's safe to rule out Harry Potter magic,> said Pudding. <I don't think Dan would blatantly copy an existing fantasy series anyway; it's not his style. Parody, maybe. Directly copy, probably not.> Pudding, as you'll recall, was physically distinct from the rest of the Danadians in that he was a fish. Specifically a large orange goldfish-like fish, but for the extra eye on a stalk like a snail's eye. His voice, such as it was, was a lyric baritone.

"Fair enough," said Richard. "We can try something different next, although I'm not ruling out Rowlingesque incantations. Maybe something involving those crystals? To be honest I'm not sure what I was thinking when I made them, but crystals seem kind of magicy."

The door opened and Jessica walked into the room. I just described her last chapter I'm not doing it again. "Hey guys," she said. "What are you up to?"

"We're attempting to deduce what sort of rules govern magic in Danada," said Richard. "So far we've determined that it's probably not with a staff or wand incantations."

"Probably not?" asked Kyle.

"Well it could be we just got one of the variables wrong."

"What about just willing something to happen strong enough?" asked Jessica.

<That was the first thing we tried,> said Pudding.

"Besides, if magic were that simple, someone probably would have already cast a spell inadvertently," said Kristina.

"And those spellbooks over on that shelf?" asked Jessica, referring to the bookshelf on the far side of the room.

"All blank," said Richard. He got out a large leather-bound volume with a pentagram inscribed on the cover, and flipped through its empty pages to demonstrate. "This room was made by me out of the quantum flux, remember. But on the bright side, we learned that you can't create information from the flux that you don't know. So that's something."

"Anyway," said Jessica. "I was looking for Toaster-Man. He seems to have disappeared and I'm growing concerned."

<That is probably the correct emotion to feel,> said Pudding. <In the previous iteration of Danada, Toaster-Man has been known to... snap on occasion.>

"That sounds worrisome," said Richard.

<Indeed,> said Pudding. <Let me put it this way. You know how in most people's minds, there is a balance between id, ego, and superego?>

"Yes," said Jessica.

"Wait, I thought that Freudian analysis was bunk," said Richard.

<It is,> said Pudding. <But like many superseded theories it can still be useful as a model at times. Anyway, with Toaster-Man, it's not so much a balance as, how should I put this? Completely id.>

"Well, I've looked nearly everywhere I can think of," said Jessica. "No sign of him."

"Have you tried the farming floor?" asked Kristina. "Charles and a bunch of Jeffery's other friends started it. I doubt Toaster-Man is there but maybe one of them has seen him. Which floor was it on?"

"Two-dozen six," said Richard.

"So, thirty," said Jessica.

"There's not really any point in converting it," said Kyle. "The buttons on the elevator are labelled in dozens."

"And you have to take the elevator," said Richard. "It's above a bunch of undefined residential floors."

<Unless she closed her eyes the whole way,> said Pudding.

"Well I wouldn't want to walk up two dozen flights of stairs anyway," said Jessica. She went out the door, to a hallway with the stairs on one end (the stairs wound around the side of the building), and the elevator on the other (which if you'll recall is in the centre). There were several doors on the hallway, marked with the symbol for do not enter. They were undefined rooms, and would presumably be used for future labs when needed.

<I would be careful,> warned Pudding. <Toaster-Man can be a bit unpredictable.>

"He just needs a friend," said Jessica, smiling. "Good luck with your magic science!"

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